Mom's mental issues

All last week I was being such a grumpy mom.  Usually I know why I'm being grumpy and it has to do with either sleep deprivation, over scheduling, or hormones.  However last week I couldn't figure it out.  I just felt like there was this gloomy cloud hovering over me I couldn't shake.  

Rusty was working late so that he could take Thursday off and I didn't really have a chance to talk with him much. Besides he has been pretty swamped with trying to make plans for our next job back East.  I felt bummed because I know that I wasn't being fair to my kids and hubby, but I just couldn't figure out how to get past it.  Luckily on Saturday night I was able to sneak away with Rusty for awhile and talk.  I told him how I felt and he reminded me that this was the anniversary week of when our son Colton had died.  It's amazing that I hadn't recognized it. Every year I have this same challenge, you'd think by know I would just see it coming.  Our minds are incredibly complex.  Just as our bodies can be scarred by significant trauma our minds can be scarred as well.  I've found that I can go about my business for only so long before my sub-concious mind insists on me dealing with the painful "issues" of life. 

Usually the anniversary of Colton's death is something I have to confront or I feel it- headaches, depression, anxiety, and overall grumpiness.  It's silly because it doesn't take much to fix it. Generally all I have to do is recognize and acknowledge it to get over it.  I'm so grateful to have a perceptive husband who helps me stay grounded. I don't know how I could have made it through all of lifes challenges without his patience and support.  

So you've been warned if it's the first week of June and I'm not being so pleasant just remind me that it is Colton's anniversary so I don't waste too much time in the dark and dreary wilderness. :)